It’s been a little over a year since my father-in-law passed away, and his birthday is coming up soon. There have been times where I have wanted to say hello and let him know what we’ve been up to, so I thought I’d write a letter this weekend. Here it is.
Dear G,
We still think of you often. I believe you’re still with us, but are you sending signs that we just aren’t noticing anymore? Have you stopped? Or have the signs never existed at all? I remember in the days after your passing, Mr. Nacho washed our cars outside, including mine. It was the first time my car had been washed in four years. Can you believe it? You probably can. We might have even joked about it. I know you two loved working on cars together. There was one time you were working on a car together and I thought, “I have to take a photo” (or two or three…) because this father-son interaction was so special and I wanted to capture it. I’m so glad I did.
In those days that followed, we sat outside, watching as Mr. Nacho washed cars with Q. When Mr. Nacho was washing your car, a small neon butterfly fluttered nearby, sometimes darting between his legs or resting on the ground next to the car, only to lift off again and hover. It stayed close for a while—at least an hour, maybe closer to two. This little butterfly lingered so near that I couldn’t help but think it was you. It felt like you- watching him wash the car, noticing the care in how he did it. It felt like one final, tangible sign of your father-son bond—washing cars together one last time.
At your celebration of life, another neon butterfly circled the speaker podium, and people took notice. “Did you see that butterfly?” I heard people ask. I also like to think that the praying mantis that hitched a ride with us to the gem store was you. It would be comforting to feel your presence like that again. Maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention, or maybe these signs aren’t real. But deep down, I believe they are.
Mr. Nacho misses you a lot, and he doesn’t talk about it (of course). But I still love knowing how much you mean to him. You were both his best friend and dad. I only had 3 short years to get to know you, but I am so grateful for the laughter and memories we shared. Truthfully, it felt like we’d known each other for much longer. One moment from our last summer together really stands out and is one I’ll remember forever. We sat on the porch as a family, rain falling around us, as we went through boxes of old family photos, passing them around and reminiscing. I got to hear stories from way back when, tied to these moments in time. It was a really special way to get to know you better.
A lot has happened this year. We’re almost done leveling and excavating the West Virginia land—Mr. Nacho has grand plans! We remodeled our kitchen which was a little bit nerve wracking, but it’s finished and much more modern now. The basement garden is still thriving, and Mr. Nacho has been cooking up tasty meals, per usual. He’s continued to make bread, scones, banana bread, tortillas, pickles, lots of things. We’ve been using our rice cooker more creatively to throw together quick meals as well. As far as other home improvements go, we also replaced our fence. Mr. Nacho repurposed the wood from the old fence to build a small platform and a planter.
Mr. Nacho has been leaning into his creativity more lately. He mixed cement to create small planters which were painted this past week, and we took a two-day pottery class where we made ceramic bowls (and more planters). Our pieces should be ready to paint soon.
We also took another fun trip this year – this time to the underrated state of Idaho to see the mountains. We both had a great time and would love to go back.
Anyway, we miss you and love you very much. You still hold a special place in many peoples’ hearts, including mine. Thank you for touching our lives. I wish we could spend more time together, but I know you’re still with us in spirit, part of our everyday. Until we meet again.
