[These reflections are from January but I never posted them so here they are now.]
I saw someone say they were going to meditate and write 100 words about it. Seems like a fun idea. My last meditation was 5 months ago in August. I probably stopped consistently meditating back in March or April. I’m hoping that by getting back into meditation, my thoughts won’t be so consumed with work anymore. My feelings about work and productivity overall still take up a good chunk of my mindspace, and it’s something I continue to work on.
Since I started really getting into meditation in 2023 (when I felt really “stuck“), I’ve noticed profound change in my ability to recognize and let go of my emotions. Don’t get me wrong- I still feel the full weight of my emotions, but I’m able to accept them and my circumstances more easily than before. I also feel more present and grounded overall.
The reflections below are probably not so interesting to read. I’m sharing so I can revisit them in a few months or years and reflect on how my meditation practices and feelings have evolved.
Day 1: Tues 01.21.25
Duration: 5 minutes (with a few extra minutes tacked on)
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
I set my timer for a short 5 minutes because I’m only just getting back into meditating and don’t want to feel pressured to complete a longer session. It went by quickly. I stayed in a meditative state for an additional few minutes or so because I wanted to keep going.
A couple of the passing thoughts I had to gently redirect back to my breath: is Mr. Nacho going to wake up and find me meditating? It will be hard to not think about him watching me meditate. How am I going to share this piece of constructive feedback with my direct report?
Day 2: Wed 01.22.25
Duration: 10 minutes (with a couple extra minutes tacked on)
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
Day 2. When my thoughts strayed away from my breath, they were again related to work. My meditation was interrupted each time I heard the vibrations and alerts from my phone which was right next to me. When the meditation ended, the first thing I did was reach for my phone. I got sucked into responding to new messages (for email, Slack, Instagram, and LinkedIn). Luckily I didn’t start doom scrolling on Instagram – I’ve been getting better at that. What I did appreciate from this morning’s meditation was the feeling of focusing on my breath, and how quiet the morning was, even with the soft bubbling of the coffee maker going. It felt nice and relaxing.
Day 3: Thurs 01.23.25
Duration: 15 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
I’m surprised that for these past three meditations I’ve wanted to up the duration to 15 minutes vs. keeping it at 5.
Thoughts that entered my mind that I very fervently tried to bring back to my breath: my breathing is really shallow. I’m not going to do well on our upcoming trip to high altitudes. I need to write down the location of that Apple air tag I found upstairs so I don’t forget where it is. And of course, the 5 other “to do” items that crossed my mind that I wanted to write down, I’ve since forgotten.
Day 4: Fri 01.24.25
Duration: 15 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
It was a quiet morning again today and the coffee maker reminded me of a babbling brook. Unlike other days, I didn’t go to the gym before my meditation. And during the meditation, I felt more distracted than usual. My mind continued to drift, this time focused on a different work project. I struggled to bring my focus back to my breath and wondered if skipping the gym had something to do with it. I actually don’t feel as great as the past few days. It seems like the last few days of gym, stretch, shower, meditate, was really working for me.
Day 5: Sat 01.25.25
Duration: 10 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
I set the timer for 10 minutes this time. My meditation is in the evening this time, and I set the timer for 10 minutes. I was tired when I started and I’m tired now that I’ve completed it. My mind is definitely racing with thoughts and it was difficult to focus on my breath. It seems like meditating in the morning after the gym is both more energizing and relaxing at the same time, though I wouldn’t be opposed to a quick morning and evening meditation practice. I have to admit too that 100 words after each meditation is starting to get more difficult.
Day 6: 01.26.25
Duration: 10 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
As soon as the ending bell sounded through my phone, I picked up my phone to see Instagram notifications and of course clicked in to see what they were. A social media detox is something I’d love to do. But how?! Actually, thinking back on it, I opened Instagram to look at the notification, got distracted with a post, and ended up not even opening the actual notifications to view. During the meditation, again it was hard to focus, But rather than focusing on the breath, I tried doing more body scanning. I’ll get better at this meditation thing one day.
Day 7: 01.27.25
Duration: 15 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
Our cat was all up in our faces last night so I didn’t sleep very well, so waking up early today was a little tougher than usual. The meditation felt better compared to earlier this week, and I felt like I was in a good meditative state. Part of me wonders though if I was actually nodding back to sleep for part of it. I did a decent job focusing on my breath. However, for some reason, I had no desire to do a body scan. Another plus was that my mind was able to not think about work as much compared to earlier meditations.
Day 8: 01.28.25
Duration: 15 minutes
Method: Insight Timer: Timer function
I definitely nodded off more than a few times during the meditation. I went to bed last night around 8:30 pm and was up around 4:20 am. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep. Maybe the 4:30 AM wakeup is too early for me. That, or my workout this morning went harder than expected (I don’t feel like it was that hard though). Perhaps I’m also catching up on the sleep I missed from the night before when I didn’t sleep so well. I had a tough time staying focused at work. Maybe I can try to get to bed even earlier tonight and see if that helps.
Final thoughts
As I was writing these thoughts out, I didn’t think I would find them interesting to read later. It actually *is* interesting looking back at experiences then to compare them to today. I fell off the meditation wagon (yet again) shortly after my last reflection above, and I am hoping to start again.
